Match day. Again. (Didn’t we just have one of them already?)
The day starts with breakfast in the biggest hotel in the world. It’s like a Tardis: it doesn’t look big from the outside, but as you walk down the corridors you can’t see the end due to the curvature of the earth. Then, when you get to the end, there’s another corridor to go down, so you eventually end up back in the same time zone you started out in.
After breakfast, we head down to reception. By coincidence, the Wonky Massive are about to leave the hotel. So we follow them. It’s only after ten minutes we think to ask where they are going. Fortunately, they are going the same place as us. To collect our tickets.
There are lots of familiar faces and Megan buys a match day badge from Billy the Badge. The first time I met Billy, he tried to sell me a badge in the toilet of a nightclub in Prague at 3am. The boy is insatiable.
Copenhagen has a population of 1.4 million and is often listed as the best place in the world by the sort of miserable gits who have nothing better to do than measure people’s happiness. It started our as a Viking fishing village in the 10th Century and became the capital of Denmark as far back as the 15th century.
It’s at this point I would normally give details of a walking tour we have been on and share some historical facts we have picked up. Today, to be frank, we can’t be arsed to go looking at mermaid statues, Carlsberg breweries, Lego farms, bacon factories or pastry museums. We decide to go full Red Wall. So if you want to learn more, look it up yourself…
We wander down the street and make ourselves at home in a little restaurant opposite Tivoli, the second oldest surviving fair ground in the world, having opened way back in 1843… oops. I said I wouldn’t do that.
We order an open sandwich, or Smorrebrod. It’s a Danish traditional meal which is basically a sandwich with only one piece of bread, so you can go over the top with the ‘filling’. The Danish aren’t big on vegetarianism. They are, after all, world famous for producing bacon – although they didn’t actually invent it. Our filling today is spuds, garlic mayo, pickled red onions, onion rings and assorted weeds.
Sandwich consumed we head down to the Irish Bar. It’s quite busy, but strangely not the usual boisterous atmosphere. Maybe it is because they have run out of cider. Or maybe it is because there are signs saying beer is half price on a Sunday – but it’s not.
We catch up with old friends and head for the Metro for the short trip to the ground. ‘Bit early for that isn’t it, Clint?” I hear you say. Well, “Yes it is,” I reply, “but there’s a fanzone!” I reply.
The only time I have been to a fanzone before was in France for the Euros back in 2016. I’ve never really been one for ‘organised fun’, but it makes sense today. It is right next to the ground and it’s huge (well, quite big) and there are no queues at the bar. The field is ringed with assorted bars, food vendors and activities for kids. At the one end there is a stage with a live band performing cover versions of English language classics, such as ‘The Final Countdown’, ‘Purple Rain’ and ‘Other bland rock songs I can’t remember.”
After being in the same cities as them for a week without actually meeting up, we finally catch up with the Caerphilly Massive. They have spent the last week seeking out the cheapest beer in town, but rumour has it Tank Carson has actually bought his own fags. I contemplate letting Wales Online know – but I’m a stickler for facts and I’m unable to verify this story. Kev, on the other hand, is very generous and comes back from the bar with six pints, including two for my lady wife and I. Charles Chuckles tells us how much he is enjoying the cover versions of songs that were shit to start off with and Steve does security for us.
We don’t really need security though. It’s a very relaxed atmosphere with fans of both teams mingling and laughing and joking with each other. Megan goes over to one very young Danish fan and gives him a pin badge which he was thrilled with. Chuckles then goes over to the same family to join in the spirit of international bonding. I’m not sure what he said but they fucked off two minutes later.
About an hour before the game the band goes off stage and the Danes head into the ground, leaving the Welsh behind for the traditional ‘leave it to the last minute and get caught in a big queue’ routine.
Eventually we head into the ground. The contrast with Portugal could not have been starker. Not only were there no intimate searches, there were no searches. Kinky from the Rhondda was stood by the turnstile trying to finish his pint before going in. The security told him not to bother rushing, he could bring his pint in. Without a doubt, the most relaxed security I’ve ever seen.
There are plenty of bars throughout the stadium and you can take your beer in to watch the game. You can even buy a belt with twenty shots.
We had left it a few minutes late: we couldn’t find two seats together, but managed to find two seats with one behind the other.
The Welsh National Anthem was epic, one of the best I’ve ever experienced. Then the football started.
Wales had put in a really good shift against Portugal, even though we lost one-nil to one of the world’s top teams. I’m not sure why there were so many changes to the starting line-up for tonight’s game, but we made Denmark look better than Portugal. I will say though, I thought Sorba Thomas was outstanding. No complaints about two-nil from me.
There was no holding us back after the game, we were allowed to mingle with the home fans and everyone was comradely. There are obviously occasions when fans have to be separated, but sometimes a heavy police presence can aggravate an otherwise peaceful situation. In Portugal, we basically walked through a gauntlet of cops to the station, some of them with riot shields. I don’t think I saw a copper all day here.
After getting back to the city centre we opted to sit down and have a Thai green curry in a cracking little restaurant near our hotel. It was stunning, but too much. We had doggy bags to bring away them went back to the hotel and watched Men In Black dubbed into Danish.
As I sit here the next morning blogging, I’m trying to work out how we eat a cold chrry without any cutlery. Perhaps we should get dressed and go for breakfast.
Today we fly home. I can’t imagine we will do anything worth blogging about, but you never know. We have had a great trip, but two cities so far apart, with a very short gap between games is not ideal. Maybe that’s why the team looked knackered – I know I am.
Anyway, a few weeks to rest now. Next stop, Norway 🇳🇴 😎